Grin Seeker Pillows

"Incontinence Hotline - can you hold please...?"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Santa does a keg stand.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Soaring Profits

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

"Projectile hairballing."

"You've changed."

"What did Jesus order?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

Drunk Barber

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Hey! Get back here!"

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

Football heads...

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Why am I such a grouch?'