Grin Seeker Pillows

"Incontinence Hotline - can you hold please...?"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Santa does a keg stand.

Soaring Profits

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"What did Jesus order?"

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"You've changed."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Projectile hairballing."

Hooray for Bollywood!

Drunk Barber

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"Hey! Get back here!"

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'Why am I such a grouch?'

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

Football heads...

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Bald Man Overcomb