Grim Reality Enthusiast Pillows

"Having looked at your portfolio I suggest the best option might be for you to think about dying early."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Can't Touch This

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Am I through to the next round?"

America's funniest election gaffes

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

"Someone to see you!"

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

Scientist exclaims; 'At last! I have created artifical life!' But the rest of his team are busy watching Big Brother.

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"Ok, don't move. I want to capture the drama and intrigue of your life."

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."