Grim Humor Aficionado Pillows

"Aww man, that's a rotten trick."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"Someone to see you!"

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

Delta and Omicron Race

Clown looks nervously at Grim Reaper eating a banana next to him.

"Honey, I have to go to the Moria refugee camp. I'll be back soon, the work there will practically take cake of itself."

Lady to tombstone: 'Sam, I invested all of your money in an IPO last week ... we're millionaires!'

"I recommend the mushrooms."

Covid Boarding Pass

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

"Stop pestering me. Dating you is the last thing I'd do."

'You wanted a second opinion?'

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

"That wasn't very funny!"

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

"You took your time!"

"I believe they're a debt collection agency."