Grim Humor Aficionado Pillows

"Aww man, that's a rotten trick."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

The Thinker. The Listener

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Someone to see you!"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

Delta and Omicron Race

"Honey, I have to go to the Moria refugee camp. I'll be back soon, the work there will practically take cake of itself."

Clown looks nervously at Grim Reaper eating a banana next to him.

Lady to tombstone: 'Sam, I invested all of your money in an IPO last week ... we're millionaires!'

"I recommend the mushrooms."

Covid Boarding Pass

Next Terrifying Military Threats

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."

"Stop pestering me. Dating you is the last thing I'd do."

'You wanted a second opinion?'

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

"You took your time!"

"That wasn't very funny!"

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

'Thanks for all your hard work.'