Grim Reality Enthusiast Gifts

"Having looked at your portfolio I suggest the best option might be for you to think about dying early."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

American Idle.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Can't Touch This

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

America's funniest election gaffes

"Am I through to the next round?"

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

I can now come clean. The person who secretly told me that Mitch McConnell loves Dr. Pimple Popper is … Hold it! Hold it? Commercial break. Nothing' says sexy like cholesterol.

"Someone to see you!"

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

The big questions in life.

Scientist exclaims; 'At last! I have created artifical life!' But the rest of his team are busy watching Big Brother.

Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs on the Maury show: "I have the DNA results right here!"

Life stripped bare

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'