Green Thumb Guru Gifts

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

'That's your idea of weed control?'

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

It's a wind farm.

Talk to your plants. But if you really want results, bring in a motivational speaker.

I can never tell the plants from the weeds! Pull them all up and the ones that grow again are the weeds!

'Always plant trees so that the prevailing wind blows the autumn leaves next door'

'Please tell me you didn't pay for that stuff.'

'So, did you use compost or chemical fertilizers?'

'I think we found the spot where you spilled the fertilizer.'

Clean dirt.

Mixed Ability Brown, Landscape Gardener

'Maybe you're telling them more than they can assimilate.'

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' Moles prepare for their assault on a newly mowed lawn

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"There's no need for us to destroy it; they're doing so well on their own!"

'That plant food really works!'

"I guess the tomatoes were just a gateway plant."

Garden Goddess.

Ed discovers that building his greenhoue outside the leftfield wall was a huge mistake!

Farmacy.

'Look Mummy, I've picked you some flowers.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

"I'm greener, yes. But am I happier?"

Flower growing on a compost heap.

'Hey...you know that stuff you put out in the garden?...'

"Plus $600 for delivery."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Garden Variety Irish