Green Mischief Maker Pillows

'You're the only person I know who takes divots on the green.'

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Outside with that!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

The invisible man makes a pancake

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Son hacks into computer to get a job

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

Frankie the discount genie

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

"It's festive. But I think it means no candy."

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"Can you come over here for a second and give this a pained look?"

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'No pennies.'

"Everything on his list - see to it, wrinkly!"

'You may not have many faults, but you really make the most of the ones you do have.'

'Our product testers aren't meant to be used that way, Sir.'

"Tech support? Yeah, how do I add a 'Hate Me On Facebook' button to my website?"