Green Guffaw Enthusiast Gifts

"I feel less guilty when we bring our eco-friendly canvas bags."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

Garden seeds - giant varieties

THe UDDER Side

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

The world at stake...

This summer, Mother Nature goes nuts.

'It's not you...it's your carbon footprint!'

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

Golfer Snooker.

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

'This one here would probably be best for you; It prefers partial shade, needs little water and grows best in esoteric single-panel cartoons.'

'Bugleweed makes a nice ground cover, and you don't have to set your alarm.'

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

Gingerbread House: Green Building Award - Baked by Elves in Solar Ovens.

'It's getting late. We should set up camp here and start out again in the morning.'

Manure as Fertilizer and other Tales of Derring-Doo.

"Nature has a twisted sense of humor."

Gardener laying turf.

'As you can see from these full-colour charts, we're spending a lot of money on toner.'

Mitt shoots off his own feet.

'I'll meet your carbon output and lower you two units.'

"Golf is the only game that comes with a slave."

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

'Did you know the famous Fleur-De-Lis is a stylized Iris?'

"My Chilean monkey flower is just sitting there doing nothing."

"I'm a green thief."

A flower nursery: 'Annuals' 'Perennials' 'Eternals'

Election Campaign Planning At Labour Central Office.

Medical Mot: 'You've failed on carbon emissions.'

What He Meant To Say...

Joe Binden's Secrets of Public Speaking.

Rick Perry Reporting for Duty

He lived and died for golf.