Green Diet Champions Pillows

"My superpower is that I'm a vegan and never mention it to anyone."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Climate change

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

World Meat Consumptiom

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

The cake diet.

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

As soon as the diet ends the lost weight returns.

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

'I'm going to put you on a low carb diet,'

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

"Yeah, and what's it to you if I am gluten free?"

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."

'My gosh, I'm losing my jowls!'

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

'Burl's on a diet. . . his high school class reunion is this Friday.'

'It's so hot you could fry an egg white on the sidewalk.'

"Well, there goes the neighborhood."

'Good luck. That patch is designed to help you stick to your diet.'

Escape from Earth: Warning.

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

'I'm on a diet -- make it a two-bean salad.'

No, thanks - I'm doing a ten-minute fasting cleanse.

"You're just in time. We're having vegetarian chili tonight."

"The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals."