Green Business Gifts

"Mr. Talbot, our idea of 'going green' is buying stocks that pay a big dividend."

"Our plant diet. Now we can't keep bragging about being a 'green' company."

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

The original paperless office

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Environmentalist Brainstorm

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

'I forgot how creepy you look in the dark.'

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."

Natural gas

Solar Power.

The Allied Toy Company utilizes wind power as part of its green initiative.

Recycling - Perfectly good bits you can't recycle or give away...

We were tanking until we used organic lemons, declared ourselves a Green Enterprise Zone, and got a $30 million grant from the government.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"No no! I said we're tilting towards windmills, not tilting at them!"

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'Huggins, our goal is to go green, so we're replacing you with this plant.'

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

"No more car-rides for me: He's gone all green, sold his car, bought a bike and uses public transports..."

"Have you ever used a plastic straw?"

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"

'Yes, this is the most direct offsetting of carbon emissions I've seen.'

"Are you crazy? Throwing a coffee mug, a plastic one at that, on the floor?? The little Swedish girl sees everything!!"

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

Money feeds tree of property

"I present to you the new steam-powered, electricity-generating windmill! Fueled by grass clippings, wind and cow doo-doo. I think we can safely say that green just got greener!"

"It's a sign!"

Guzzle-guzzle-guzzle

This fast food restaurant uses recycled packaging! . . . "And recycled food!"

"If every house had one of these, we could od away with all nuclear and fossil fuels!"