Corporate Greening Gifts

"Have you ever used a plastic straw?"

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Nature versus commerce.

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

The original paperless office

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

Work Slave

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Unsuccessful board meeting.

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

Amega Inc: Established 1991, incorporated 2003, paperless 2008, faceless 2010.

"Before we start can we agree to agree with everything I put forward?"

"I attended a leadership seminar, they learnt a lot from me."

'I forgot how creepy you look in the dark.'

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

Recycling - Perfectly good bits you can't recycle or give away...

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"What you must have noticed by now is that there is a very fine line between a success and a failure!"

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Here a Goldstein and Company, if at first you don't succeed, you're fired!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

We were tanking until we used organic lemons, declared ourselves a Green Enterprise Zone, and got a $30 million grant from the government.

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"We like to treat all our employees as individuals. This for example is individual No. P3604."

"Average sales figures, average customer satisfaction, average punctuality. Mediocrity is certainly one of your major strengths, Jenkins."

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'Huggins, our goal is to go green, so we're replacing you with this plant.'

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

Management Styles - Inspirational

I can take it from here. Have a long lunchhour!

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

'Yes, this is the most direct offsetting of carbon emissions I've seen.'

"No more car-rides for me: He's gone all green, sold his car, bought a bike and uses public transports..."

'As you all know, I've never been much of a 'people person'.'