Green Builder Gifts

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"...and to keep the project environmentally friendly, we'll be adding trail mix to the concrete mix."

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Rocking horse

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'