Eco-conscious Builder Gifts

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

Bee flying to another flower.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

Tomorrow's world 2165.

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

From the Stone Age to the GarbAge.

"It seems even the local council are aware of your drink problem."

I talked my new client into an eco-landscape. Well done. Walls using local stone. Native trees and plants. Plus

"Scientists don't know anything. . . but we need to leave this to those more qualified. . . like scientists!"

No one drinks from fountains anymore. Thanks to bottled water, they've been replaced. By bottled water fountains.

Who Was That Greta Girl Again?

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

Voting is about to start and they're campaigning furiously down there. The DNA is discussing policy in depth. DNA has detailed plans. The carbon dioxide is complaining about the negative press coverage its getting, and the chlorophyll is pushing a green agenda. The individual atom candidates are receiving lots of attention --- their truthfulness is being questioned. Voters must have heard that "atoms make up everything"!

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'With such a tight budget we never thought it would be possible to build our dream home.'

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

Food Pyramid.

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

"It's not any better up our way, either."

Tree funeral.

'We unknowingly built the house in the middle of the western swamp turtle's migration route and we're required to allow them unobstructed access.'