Great Mind Appreciator Pillows

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Voltaire

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

Big business is not evil

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Einstein's T-Shirt Reads: I'm with Stupid (Arrows point everywhere).

Late-Onset Epiphany

Dogs in heaven with collar halos.

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

"Just where do you think you're going? You don't have the brains to graduate!"

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

Figure of Eight

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

It was like he could read my mind.

'On second thoughts, scratch that positive prognosis. Neville's having one of his intuitive gut-feelings about this one...'

Inn and Outt.

Bit on the Side

Black Death

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'