Great Danes Gifts

Dog Show: Great Dane Category.

A Great Dane in the throes of furious activity.

'Are you sure Mr, Winslow will greet us with an open wallet'

'He's not great at playing dead, but his sad look when he's in trouble is a real work of art.'

Big Dogs, Little People.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'He does lack social skills.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'

'And this is Great Grandpa Bobo. They say he slipped on a banana peel and died, but I think it was just a heart attack.'

"We're watching some Danish television show and convincing ourselves that it's superior to anything on American TV."

Little boy feeds fish away from fisherman.

'I like their lollipops. If we ever get any money, we ought to open an account here.'

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

"It's a snow-grandad!"

"Old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue."

Happy Eightieth Birthday

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'He likes to rest before he gets tired.'

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

'Grandpa call it easy listening, but it's not.'

"Show some respect, stop saying 'Who isn't a pretty boy.'"

"Gran'dad, when you was in the war was it before or after the whole world went mad?"

'Grandad, tell me about when you were a yuppie.'

Announcement at teatime

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'