Graveyard Shift Glow-getter Gifts

"It was 2am and time for another unauthorized tanning session for the boys on the crematorium's night shift."

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

Deaths from Coronavirus

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Beware of God"

'He never listened to his mother!'

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

Ventriloquist Grave

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Pranking Zombies

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"Yorick, you dolt! Alas, poor Yorick!"

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

In the houseplant cemetery.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

Owner tells dog to put back all the bones he's dug up

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

A Late Bloomer.

"Back in 15 min."

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

Michael Hall 1930-2002: wonderful father, devoted husband, benevolent employer, generous citizen, BUT...

Respects to Kevin Woodcock.

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

'So much for the sheriff who was going to clean up our town.'