Graveyard Shift Glow-getter Gifts

"It was 2am and time for another unauthorized tanning session for the boys on the crematorium's night shift."

Deaths from Coronavirus

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Beware of God"

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'He never listened to his mother!'

Ventriloquist Grave

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"Yorick, you dolt! Alas, poor Yorick!"

Pranking Zombies

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

In the houseplant cemetery.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

Owner tells dog to put back all the bones he's dug up

'Well, not his very last words, just his last words on twitter.'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

"Back in 15 min."

'So much for the sheriff who was going to clean up our town.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

Michael Hall 1930-2002: wonderful father, devoted husband, benevolent employer, generous citizen, BUT...

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

Respects to Kevin Woodcock.