Gratuity Strategist T-Shirts

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Thank you bubbles

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

Dangling Carrots

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"By the way… If no one has mentioned this before, we think you're swell."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

"Can I just leave a small tip?"

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

Give Thanks.

Every Day is a Gift

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

This stuff fixes things at home, why not here?

Thank you for being able to celebrate in person and remotely. That you for the first responders who keep us safe. Thank you for the healthcare works who keep us healthy. Thank you for farmers and others who made this feast possible. Thank you for those who make pants with strong buttons!

Thank you healthcare heroes

"What do you get for the man who complains about everything?"

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"I owe everything I have today to my parents, my wife, and the bank."

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

A sky writer writes, 'Thank you.'

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

"I need a card that says 'Thanks for going through lots with me.' I'm a realtor!"