Reward Strategist T-Shirts

Dangling Carrots

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

Monkey casino study.

'Isn't it how you learnt to swim?'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

If you apply for my credit card, you can earn points toward your next guilt trip.

"What do you get for the man who complains about everything?"

'My wife's left me for a man with more Nectar points...'

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

'... and last, but not least, a big Christmas bonus for Daddy to make sure I get what I want.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

'The object is to make money, not pay claims! Don't make me tell you again!'

'When life serves you lemons, make lemonade, then calculate your fixed and variable costs and add a reasonable markup in order to create a profit.'

"Next time, before buying expensive gifts, be sure there's enough money left to rent your own camels."

"You said you wanted something really rewarding for your last wish so I made you a teacher."

"Do I get the reward if I hand myself in..?"

"But a windfall tax would mean abandoning a zero carbon future."

Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be? Insurance-Adjuster-Man. In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure. Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast. "Heroes" aren't in it for the money. Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance ...

When choosing between "the carrot or the stick." my experience is that that employees don't like carrots enough!

Penalty Box. Shouldn't there also be a "reward" box? I've been nice most of the game!

'I'm not writing 'gifts optional' on your birthday party invitation again this year 'cause no one got you a gift.'