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The Evolution of the Bonus

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

Dangling Carrots

loan

'Don't keep complimenting them on their work, or before you know it they'll be asking for a rise.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'Such a small bonus.'

'I like it. It reminds me of my bonus development.'

He must have given Johnson a rise - he just did a back-flip.

Will work for humongous bonus.

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

'When life serves you lemons, make lemonade, then calculate your fixed and variable costs and add a reasonable markup in order to create a profit.'

'It must be bonus-time again.'

'In this business you can't motivate top staff with huge salaries. It's the bonuses and share options that really count.'