Bonus Strategist Pillows

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

Dangling Carrots

loan

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'Don't keep complimenting them on their work, or before you know it they'll be asking for a rise.'

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'Such a small bonus.'

Will work for humongous bonus.

He must have given Johnson a rise - he just did a back-flip.

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

'I like it. It reminds me of my bonus development.'

'When life serves you lemons, make lemonade, then calculate your fixed and variable costs and add a reasonable markup in order to create a profit.'

"We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'In this business you can't motivate top staff with huge salaries. It's the bonuses and share options that really count.'

'It must be bonus-time again.'