Grass Court Gladiator Gifts

Wimbledon Courts

Prize vegetables.

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Neighbor Leaf Wars

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

Football.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Human males marking territory.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

I love tennis

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Football Blockers.

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."