Grass Court Gladiator T-Shirts

Wimbledon Courts

Prize vegetables.

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Football.

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

Human males marking territory.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

I love tennis

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Football Blockers.

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.