Graphologist Pillows

'I've got my handwriting back from the graphologist - she says I'm shoddy, untidy, and cack-handed - it's uncanny!'

"She should be good. The capital 'L' shows an extroverted and outgoing personality, the wide 'O' indicates a warm nature, the second 'L' is lively..."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'C'mon get it straight.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Natural Disasters

Interdisciplinary studies.

Scarcity

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"We'll always have Paris..."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Scientists are sexy

If nobody had invented graphics

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

"Admit it, we're lost."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

Geese's Thoughts.