Grape Whisperer Pillows

'Do I detect an inner grape struggling to get out?'

'No, I haven't gotten around to crushing the grapes, but I think have them pretty well intimidated.'

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener attacked by plants.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

His New Grillfriend

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Award Winning Gardener

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

An old man growing berries

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'