Grape Growing T-Shirts

Grape vines think alike.

'Do I detect an inner grape struggling to get out?'

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

'Hold up a sec! I'm feeling really guilty about all the destruction we've caused to vineyards around the world...Okay, I'm over it.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"It looks like the loud noises are coming from a sound system Dad, presumably set up to stop us from eating the grapes..."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I'm afraid it's still rather young."

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

A giant glass of red wine

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine

Wine tasting

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.