Grape Cultivating T-Shirts

'You know you should look for another hobby, when your homemade white wines are darker than your reds.'

The Vineyard

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Who's the new guy?'

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Wine tasting

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Nouveau wine

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Wine Lovers