Grape Crusher T-Shirts

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"The guests are waiting - how much longer on the wine?"

The Vineyard

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

'Who's the new guy?'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Wine tasting

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

Nouveau wine

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'