Grape Crusher T-Shirts

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

The Vineyard

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Wine Lady

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Who's the new guy?'

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Wine tasting

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

Nouveau wine

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

"It's an agreeable little wine."