Grant Guzzler Gifts

"Hurry up with more eleventh dimension funding!"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Oil shock.

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"What are we doing wrong?"

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

White Whale Brand Grog

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

Thank you for not droning on about the English

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

'Well, it is just my opinion, but it's backed by the best rumor and speculation the internet can provide.'

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

"I'm applying for a grant to be able to apply for more grants."

'I'm sick of writing grant proposals on spec.'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

'I'm worried -- It's getting harder and harder to qualify for Federal grants!'

Gatorade!

Sailors on Shore Carousing - As it will be when the grog is stopped.