Grandfather's Day Pillows

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Bitchbark Canoe

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"How can you be out of wings?"

City Zoo: Day Care

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Bond James, Bond."

Playing Fetch.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Louis Armstrong

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Killer Executive Suits.

The Busy Gardener

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'