Father's Day Pillows

"Thanks for almost everything, Dad."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin playing hockey. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore."

"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."

Lawrence of Suburbia

"We're really bonding now, aren't we, Dad?"

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"I do support your right to free speech - I just don't support your tone."

"Didn't I just give you money for a start-up last week?"

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

"For security, our signs need to be at least eight characters long."

"She does this when she's tired."

"For next Father's Day, we'll get you a tie clip."

PSA Banter.

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Oh, hell."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

Man's dentures hold cigar.

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'This would be a lot more fun if you didn't throw like a girl.'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

"The Icarus story is just that- a story."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

About time!

'Dad, good luck fly fishing.'

"Keeping all out kids does NOT make us hoarders."

Inside Baseballs