Father's Birthday Pillows

'Yuk! Whose idea was it to let Dad choose the entertainment for his birthday?'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Bitchbark Canoe

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

City Zoo: Day Care

"How can you be out of wings?"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Playing Fetch.

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Louis Armstrong

Killer Executive Suits.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

I like the Jets...I guess

A Good Batch.