Birthday (for Dad) Pillows

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Bitchbark Canoe

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

City Zoo: Day Care

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Playing Fetch.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Killer Executive Suits.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

I like the Jets...I guess

A Good Batch.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'