Grand Slam Guru T-Shirts

'I'm leaving you for someone who ignores me to watch Wimbledon!'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

No-Work Orange

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Exercise Class

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Sale! Weed Whackers

Lawnmower

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

The trim reaper

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"Check out this new store."

Bashful in Nashville

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'What are you eating now?'

It can be taken up at any age....

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'