Graduation Memorabilia Gifts

"If you buy the service plan, we can change the graduation date as often as neccessary."

Eternal Student.

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

U of Debt

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

His Master's Thesis.

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

Now Firing.

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

'Perfect - as Sir will know, the fashion is for the looser suit this year...'

Student Debt

School of Baristas

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"Yale law....where did you do your pre-hell?"

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

"I didn't it, I read it, so guess who just graduated cum laude from Dinsdale High?"

"Yale mom. Yale grandpa. Yale estranged creepy uncle."

'You borrowed $27,000 over the years to study computer sciences. According to our files, you now owe us $1.83.'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"Cool, what's it say?"