Graduation Galore Gifts

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Evolution Exam Results.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"This is what's known as a book."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Pesky students.

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

Day one, post grad

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."