Graduation From Culinary School Pillows

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

Beet soup with carrots and radishes you haven't made that since culinary school! I'm reconnecting with my roots!

Turkey Autopsy

Cut out and keep your own Chef

Who ordered the tap water?

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Counting ribs

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Picking pastries.

Cookbooks

"Rump roast?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I come here for the pepper."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."