Graduating From Culinary School Pillows

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Well, that gut has the cool hat, but the other guy is actually cooking."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

Cookery Lesson.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'I think it needs more punctuation.'

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Cookbooks

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Picking pastries.

"Rump roast?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.