Graduating With A Degree In Hospitality Pillows

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Cardiac Recovery.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"Valet park only"

Prawn Cocktail Please

American style Greek cafe.

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

The Suite Hereafter

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Cookery Lesson.

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Mini Bar

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."