Starting A New Job In Hospitality Pillows

Fresh Seafood.

'The service was crap.'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Airport Security.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

The Suite Hereafter

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Mini Bar

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

No early morning tea past this landing