Graduating First Aid Course T-Shirts

Rubber Chicken First Aid Training

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

First aid departments

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

Resusci Annie takes a well-earned vacation.

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

First Aid Box

Medical Supplies

"My God, now what?"

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

'Hang on, Donny - Heimlin...Heinlit..dang! How do you spell that thing'

Why dogs hate CPR.

"Will he be okay?"

Sabrage

Musical Accidents

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

"I've got a pulse!"

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.