Graduating First Aid Course Mugs

Rubber Chicken First Aid Training

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

First aid departments

First Aid Box

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

Medical Supplies

"My God, now what?"

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

Sabrage

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

"The Catlich Maneuver"

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

'Hang on, Donny - Heimlin...Heinlit..dang! How do you spell that thing'

Musical Accidents

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

"I've got a pulse!"

Why dogs hate CPR.

"Will he be okay?"