Graduating Cousin Gifts

'You have failed on all counts...'

Big Bang Theory.

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"Make a lot of money."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Good Luck!

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Good Luck!

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Day one, post grad

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"