Graceful Agers Gifts

"Well, finally! Gracefully aging no more."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Aging Problems

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

Don't have a hot flush....

"I come from the future."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

The Aging of Underwear

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

Analysis of Beauty - Plate II.

Treble

'They want your underwear.'

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

A senior moment.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Don't laugh - when you get old, your neck will get saggy, too.

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?