Graceful Agers T-Shirts

"Well, finally! Gracefully aging no more."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Aging Problems

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

Analysis of Beauty - Plate II.

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

The Aging of Underwear

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Treble

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

A senior moment.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."