Gps Gifts

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well'

'It's from the PCT...they want us to reduce bullying in the practice or they're going to cut our funding and send someone around to kick out A****'

'The economy is in crisis...we all have to make sacrifices and you're ours.'

Government looks for new targets over GPs pay

GPs weighed down by bureacracy

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of GP morale..."

"Congratulations! It's a doctor!"

Matt Hancock to support whistleblowers by banning gagging orders.

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Bicycle sat nav.

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

What Do Doctors Dream About?

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

'What are you eating now?'

Doctors Discussion

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"The test results show its frostbite!"

"Look on the GPS to see if there's any wormholes through time and space."

Recalculating

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Welsh practice launches formal objection to 'unmanageable' new housing.

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

Medical Center.

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement