Government Humorists Gifts

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

Stay the Course.

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

OVERPOPULATION CRISIS LOOMS!, 'If the Government really wanted zero population growth, they'd turn the problem over to the Pentagon.'

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

'This is just a thought, but is there any way we could tax OTHER countries?'

'The trouble with electing a man on horseback is that somebody has to clean up after him.'

God's Office.

Excessive Paperwork

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

Thoughts that never cross Trump's mind. . .

"It's easy being a congressman once you let go of your grip of reality."

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

'And I suppose YOU'VE never started an unnecessary war!'

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?

'You like it? I'm getting a government grant for Phase 2.'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'I'm beginning to think that you're WILLFULLY apathetic!'

'Ooops, wrong door!'

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

'Why retire? Working a nonfunctioning - government is just like being retired.'

"This is all Obama's fault! If he hadn't invented the Affordable Care Act, we wouldn't be in this mess..!"

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

'The anger management class ruined our budget when they ordered love seats.'