Government Humor Fan Pillows

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

Archival Warfare

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Sire, they also want dental."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Of Course, we can't expect things to be as good as they have been up to now

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Look At The Bright Side

Trump Tells Greta to "Chill" Even Though The Earth Isn't

'There'll be a small tax hike -- I need to build a warehouse to store the budget surplus.'

Victory speech.

Supremacist Court

Just Figureheads.

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

"This is the most transparent administration in history..."

Which One is Pulling Out?

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

"Now, should we add something at the end about how wise we are and therefore nothing in here should ever be changed?"

"Be sure to say tuned for our upcoming special report: 'Please, God, let this all be a bad dream'."

Gang Green

"Anybody know how to spell anarchy?"

"Does it still count as a party if you didn't get p*ssed and throw up in the ficus plant?"

"He didn't do squat for cats."

"We were thinking, since your head speechwriter understands the issues better than you do, speaks better than you do, is smarter and better-looking than you.."

'And if you want to investigate alternative courses of treatment, you're entitled to consult your pollster.'