Government Humor Fan Pillows

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Sire, they also want dental."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Of Course, we can't expect things to be as good as they have been up to now

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

Just Figureheads.

'There'll be a small tax hike -- I need to build a warehouse to store the budget surplus.'

Supremacist Court

Victory speech.

"This is the most transparent administration in history..."

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

"Now, should we add something at the end about how wise we are and therefore nothing in here should ever be changed?"

Red Ink

"He didn't do squat for cats."

'And if you want to investigate alternative courses of treatment, you're entitled to consult your pollster.'

"We were thinking, since your head speechwriter understands the issues better than you do, speaks better than you do, is smarter and better-looking than you.."

"Be sure to say tuned for our upcoming special report: 'Please, God, let this all be a bad dream'."

"Anybody know how to spell anarchy?"

"How dare you not salute the goddess? You'll burn at the stake for this, damn heretic!"