Government Humor Liker Pillows

Ways and Means/Means and Ends

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

"It's easy being a congressman once you let go of your grip of reality."

Doctors to treat insomnia with sleep app rather than pills

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'The anger management class ruined our budget when they ordered love seats.'

'Why retire? Working a nonfunctioning - government is just like being retired.'

'Ooops, wrong door!'

'Parish Council, working towards obsolescence'

I.R.S.: 'Notice: The rumor that we have merged with homeland security is untrue!'

Management of the Sahara falls to the NHS...

Federal Bureau of Management and Budget - Visit our new website easy.comeasy.gov

'You've got to do something about your chocolate addition.'

Child Support Agency Support Agency.

"That's untrue that I suffered moral decay! I started out corrupt!"

Federal Bureau of Indian Affairs and Federal Bureau of Cowboy Affairs

The bad news is that we lost the war -- the good news is that the king of France has agreed to make it two out of three!

"There you are!"

FBI, 'Things are slow, Bensonhurst -- let's investigate the CIA.'

'I'm sorry, it's a new goverment law - I'm not allowed to serve anyone over eighteen stone.'

"Don't go all govt. on me."

'You need to stop employees flushing money down the toilet!'

First and last day as Speaker.

'Price is no issue, Ms. Carter. Hire a consultant who can tell us why the government is in debt and dysfunctional.'

'How about this one? †'Everybody has to wear plaid socks on Tuesdays.''