Government Humorist Pillows

First and last day as Speaker.

'Of course, the world must realise I'm only the head of a caretaker government.'

'My constituents are more naive than your constituents!'

That government is best which governs least, so if elected, I promise not to do anything!

Government clowns

'Ooops, wrong door!'

'Price is no issue, Ms. Carter. Hire a consultant who can tell us why the government is in debt and dysfunctional.'

"It's easy being a congressman once you let go of your grip of reality."

"Don't go all govt. on me."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

They're Not Just That Into It

UK/US Free Trade Deal

No-Work Orange

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

Uncle Donnie

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Beware of Don"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

John F. Kennedy

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

2020 Republican Party National Convention

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'