Government Executive Gifts

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Anti-Agent

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Businesswoman Empowerment

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"You're fired."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Nation-building never works."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.