Government Executive Gifts

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Anti-Agent

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"You're fired."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Nation-building never works."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'