Government Document Readers Gifts

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

The Devil's in the detail!

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

'You forgot the product label.'

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'They're doing their tests now?

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

Equality in sexes leads to increase in insurance costs.

'Could you bring me the new investment regulations you downloaded yesterday?' 'It's still downloading.'

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

When the feds combine offices: US department of commerce & immigration...importing, exporting, deporting

"Oh, that's just the first draft of some divorce papers I was messing around with."

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

George Washington

'It's full of all sorts of complex exclusions and 'get out' clauses.'

'Are these your civil liberties, Sonny?'

'How do I know this manuscript is 'fiction' and not just 'misinformation'?'

'Let me just check the code book.'

Another restraining order. This was the last time he'd try to plan a family reunion.

"There's a moving truck backing up to our loading dock. Maybe they're delivering the government regulatory guidelines."

It Was One Of The Toughest Divorce Settlements He'd Ever Seen..

"The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible...but only under certain limited clearly defined circumstances."

I'm here about the inspecting

'But aren't hand grenades supposed to be dangerous?'